The Fear
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2022 10:36 pm
7.30 alarm and the fear starts.
Mum has breakfast ready for me, but it is dry in my throat.
I know what is coming.
Books in my bag, lunch packed.
I know what is coming.
Kiss from Mum, Dad already at work.
One bus ride to misery.
So it has been since they came.
New to my school, needing a target and finding me.
A simple slap or a push to start.
Intimating what was to come.
And it came.
In slow escalation, feeding their power.
The threats worse than the violence.
Then not.
Teachers oblivious.
Friends afraid.
Me, alone.
Ashamed.
Bruises blamed on rugby.
On football.
Anything.
Loneliness is my only friend.
Solitude, my sanctuary.
Today, the target is my Uniform.
Pockets torn from my blazer.
And I know this will punish my Mum.
Because she will know.
I wipe the bloodied lip before class.
Hear the whispered taunts.
And I can have no more.
Walk from the classroom.
Choose my place.
My time.
And stare into the Abyss.
Mum has breakfast ready for me, but it is dry in my throat.
I know what is coming.
Books in my bag, lunch packed.
I know what is coming.
Kiss from Mum, Dad already at work.
One bus ride to misery.
So it has been since they came.
New to my school, needing a target and finding me.
A simple slap or a push to start.
Intimating what was to come.
And it came.
In slow escalation, feeding their power.
The threats worse than the violence.
Then not.
Teachers oblivious.
Friends afraid.
Me, alone.
Ashamed.
Bruises blamed on rugby.
On football.
Anything.
Loneliness is my only friend.
Solitude, my sanctuary.
Today, the target is my Uniform.
Pockets torn from my blazer.
And I know this will punish my Mum.
Because she will know.
I wipe the bloodied lip before class.
Hear the whispered taunts.
And I can have no more.
Walk from the classroom.
Choose my place.
My time.
And stare into the Abyss.