Jokes

[Quiksilver]

hiding.png

[niemeyjt]

A vegan told me that people selling dead animal meat are disgusting.

I said that those selling fruit and vegetables are grosser.

[Char]

hiding.png

[Polarengineer]

hiding.png

dead funny, though I tend to think a bit photoshopped.

[niemeyjt]

One for footie fans . . .

Manchester United have just announced they are digging up their Old Trafford pitch and planting early potatoes. That way, they'll have something to lift in May.

[niemeyjt]

scraper.png

[Quiksilver]

^^ Wash day tomorrow!

linge.jpg

[Quiksilver]

Cleanliness is next to Dogliness

douche.png

[Bayleaf]

Scottish restaurant.jpg

[Sparkle]

A man and a woman were married for many years, but they were not always happy. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!” Neighbours feared him, and he liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98 and his wife had a closed casket at the funeral. After the burial, the neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked “Aren’t you afraid that he may be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?” She replied “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down and I know he won’t ask for directions”.