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:speech_balloon: Grab a chair, kick off your shoes, chill and chat.
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niemeyjt
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#551 Post by niemeyjt »

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Bayleaf
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#552 Post by Bayleaf »

Ouf! That's harsh - I can't believe she's THAT bad! :lol:

On a lighter note ...
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niemeyjt
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#553 Post by niemeyjt »

Seeing the Sin Tax thread . . .

A man walks into the chemist and buys a box of condoms.

The sales assistant says "That's five pounds plus tax."

The man replies "Tacks? Don't they stay on without?"

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Bayleaf
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#554 Post by Bayleaf »

If we're doing a word-association theme, hope this isn't too below the belt, so to speak. I call it "unfortunate photo timing".
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Too much? :lol:
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Quiksilver
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#555 Post by Quiksilver »

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#556 Post by Quiksilver »

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Bayleaf
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#557 Post by Bayleaf »

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Quiksilver
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#558 Post by Quiksilver »

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niemeyjt
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#559 Post by niemeyjt »

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon.

Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.

He said "Don’t be nervous, boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

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Bayleaf
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#560 Post by Bayleaf »

Lady walks into a pub and sees a cute guy at the bar. She walks up to him and asks "What're you drinking?"
"Magic beer" he replies.

She thinks he's a little crazy and carries on walking around the bar, but seeing there is no-one else around to talk to, returns to the young guy.

"That's not really magic beer is it?" she asks. "Of couse it is," he says, "watch". He takes a gulp of beer, flies out the window, circles the building three times, flies back in the window, back to his seat.

The lady can't believe her eyes and says "I bet you couldn't do that a second time". So, he takes another gulp of beer, flies out the window, circles the building three times and flies back in through the window to his seat.

"Wow," she says, "I gotta try one of those". So the guy asks the bartender for a glass of the same as what he's having.

She takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out of the window, falls several storeys down to the ground, breaks every bone in her body and dies.



The bartender looks at the guy and says "You can be a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"

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