A Farmer in Cornwall see's a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts, "Wozzon! Ee dun wanna be drinkin dat,
it's full of horse piss an cow dung".
The bloke says "can you speak bit slower please, I'm from London and I've just purchased a holiday property in the village"
The Farmer replies "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any"!