Jokes

[niemeyjt]

Mrs N is cross. She came in and had a go at me: "I've washed the windows, done the laundry, hoovered the carpets, ironed the clothes and done the washing up. All you have done is sit there and wait for dinner. What does that say about you?"

"I'm patient" may not have been the correct answer.

[niemeyjt]

A mechanic walks into a pub with a set of jump leads over his shoulder.

The barman says "I'll serve you but don't start anything".

[Spectrum]

A mechanic walks into a pub with a set of jump leads over his shoulder.

The barman says "I'll serve you but don't start anything".

Another bloke walks into the same bar with a chequered flag and says" dont worry if he does I will finish it "

[rabbit]

A feature in The Oldie recently on Rose Heilbron, the first female judge at the Old Bailey, reminded one of its readers of being a clerk at Leeds Assizes in 1958 where Heilbron was defending the serial killer Mary Elizabeth Wilson. She was interrupted during her opening by a juror asking to be excused. “My wife is about to conceive,” he explained. “Surely you mean she is about to be confined,” Mr Justice Hinchcliffe replied. “Either way, I think you ought to be there.”

[ExMontpelliérain]

My wife & I were just about to go to a dinner party when asked me if her eyeliner was on ok. It told her it was too high. She looked surprised.

[Bayleaf]

That sounds like a Tim Vine joke!

[Bayleaf]

pre internet chat.jpg

[ExMontpelliérain]

That sounds like a Tim Vine joke!

It almost certainly was!

[ExMontpelliérain]

Ukrainian farmers are upping the ante:

8588ABCD-26D2-4868-9186-FDDE6061168D.jpeg

[Char]

Ukrainian farmers are upping the ante:
8588ABCD-26D2-4868-9186-FDDE6061168D.jpeg

They obviously listened to Gavin Williamson